I'm Every Woman [I've Ever Made Fun Of]
- I had a bad day at work and when I was leaving the parking lot, I backed into a concrete sign.
- I was on a date and when we got back to his house, I had to go to the bathroom. I seriously considered walking down to the McDonald's so I wouldn't have to poop at his place.
- I apologized for not liking a band today.
- I've spent $800 on clothes and sheets the past four days.
- I went out drinking with friends on two separate occasions and was wasted after one beer and one whiskey ginger ale.
- I am currently watching Wipeout while I wait by my phone for a response to a date that I'm trying to reschedule after spending the majority of the day worrying that I've shown him that I'm actually not cool, but truly neurotic.
- I found some wine I had hidden, but when I tasted it, it had spoiled. I drank it anyway.