Have you ever gotten a notification on your phone from Twitter about a contact creating an account, but nothing looks familiar? Perhaps it takes you to an adult alternate reality game profile for an anthropomorphic pink otter? You can’t just let that go, right? You’re gonna dig around and see if this really is someone you know.

So, you find a related account. And you see lots of graphic illustrations of this same otter. Then you see some not so graphic photos… until you stumble upon a face pic.

It’s that sort-of friend, Todd, from college. You lived in a dorm with him and your friend circles overlapped. And now, you’ve seen more of him than you maybe wanted to.

First thing first, you’re happy for your friend. He seems to have found a sexual groove that he fits into. Everyone deserves that.

But, what happens next?

  • A. You leave it be and move on with your day.
  • B. You find his contact info to let him know other people may have also stumbled on this stuff.
  • C. Text a mutual friend about it to discuss further.

If you chose A or B, you are a better person than I am. C is what really happened and I’m not too proud of it. Luckily that person chose B and ToddTodd able to lock everything down.

I’m left wondering if I basically outed Todd to our mutual friend. If someone were to have proof that I was gay in middle school and spread it to a mutual friend, i would be livid. Was I being a mean girl?

I’m not sure. I didn’t have a way to contact Todd directly (to my knowledge). But I would be lying if I said I went to our mutual friend with pure intentions. I wanted to talk about the hot gossip.

In retrospect, I realize that I handle this wrong and want to encourage anyone reading this in a similar situation to either let it be or contact the person as directly as possible. Outing is wrong. I was wrong. I hope to grow from this experience.

Discuss below if you have a differing opinion on this. Open conversation is the only way we can grow.

Comments from Mastodon: